you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
