Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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