My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
