You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
