Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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