i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
