I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
