Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
