Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
