I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
