Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
