We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
