They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
