On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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