i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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