I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
