All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
