i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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