sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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