bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
