apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
