puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
