She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
