Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
