I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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