I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
