the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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