Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
