you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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