can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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