its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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