If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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