My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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