how do flat chested girls get laid?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
