we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
