ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
