i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
