You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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