I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
