You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
