Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
