If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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