Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
