My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
