Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
