Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
