Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
