It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
