I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I love you. Go after that dick
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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