I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
third nipple confirmed
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
