Swine flu is the new snow day.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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