brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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