Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
