My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
